How are the kids doing?

 It’s hard but also good that the kids are so little. I don’t know if they have ever heard the word cancer before, so they don’t know enough to be really scared or anxious. We haven’t had anyone close to us who they’ve seen go through it.

I had a really hard time holding it together and not crying all the time when I first got diagnosed. All we knew was that I had cancer, so my mind raced to the absolute worst scenarios. It wasn’t an option not to tell the kids. They needed to know why mommy was a wreck and crying all the time. 

We’ve tried to tell the kids what’s going on in as straight forward and plain language as we could. They know I’m sick and I have cancer. They know that I’m not contagious, so they don’t need to worry about catching it from me. Thorsen’s first question was whether it was covid. We told them that I’ll have chemo which will make me feel really icky, but will also kill all the bad cancer cells. They seem almost excited to see my hair fall out because they know I’ve been bald before. We also told them that I’ll have surgery to remove the cancer cells. 

They are taking it in stride, but they also don’t know what’s in store for the following year. We’re encouraging them to talk about it and ask questions. So far Eva has had the most questions and the most to say. She’s asked me if they’ll use a scissors to cut out the cancer and if she can come watch my surgery. I told Eva that she’s the one that found my cancer because I first noticed the pain when she put her head on my chest. Now, she proudly proclaims that she’s a hero, and I’d have to agree with her.

I let both of their teachers know what we are going through so that they know why the kids might be missing assignments or moody at school. Both teachers have shown so much love and support toward the kids and our family. It’s such a relief to know that the kids will experience so much kindness while they’re at school. It’s one less thing to worry about. 

We will get through this. The kids will be ok.