First round of chemo

 I’m five days out from my first chemo infusion, and so far, I feel like I’m getting off pretty easy. My worst symptoms have been feeling extra tired and achy. I’ve been forcing myself to rest even though I don’t feel terrible. I know exhaustion can sneak up you during chemo and I don’t want to be digging myself out of hole. It’s a struggle not to feel useless when my typical speed is go, go, go. I’m thankful for everyone who has brought us meals and helped out with the kids this week. I know their support is the reason why this first round of chemo was not nearly as bad as I expected. 

Looking forward to what’s next. I’m still struggling to understand what my stage IV diagnosis means. It was hard to get the diagnosis over the phone without much time to ask questions or digest it. I was expecting to get more answers and perspective November 30th; when I go to Mayo for a second opinion on treatment. But, I learned yesterday, that Mayo had me scheduled with the wrong type of oncologist, so that appointment has been canceled. It’s frustrating, and I feel left to hang out in this waiting room of unknowns. I wasn’t expecting Mayo to change my diagnosis, but I was hoping to have a better idea of what I’m up against and what to expect from treatment. Do they think I’ll be part of the 27% that survives metastatic breast cancer? And for how long? Give me my odds doc! In reality, I know that none of us knows what the future holds; not even the doctors. The only way to know what the future holds is to keep walking through it one step at a time. I’m thankful that I have a God who walks with me, so I don’t have to do it alone. 

Pray that I would continue to feel minimal side effects from the chemo. Pray for wisdom and insight on treatment options; I’m still trying to get an appointment with Mayo before my second round of chemo, December 7th. Pray that on days when it’s hard and discouraging that we will trust in God and not our own understanding.